That’s quite the fuck-up…

Seventeen people, including a child left in a critical condition, were injured when soldiers fired live bullets instead of blanks during an open day display in Carcassone, France, regional officials said.

What is it with the French?

Bwahahaha!

Now we wait for the Guvernator to save all our arses

The Brits have just finished launching a series of satelites that give their military worldwide control over autonomous military assets. The name of said satelite system? Skynet.

No shit.

Oh well, if everyone else thinks it’s ok…

Kate McCulloch, a woman dense enough to want to be Pauline Hanson:

“Look, scores of people are coming up to me and saying, ‘Good on you, Kate … you’re saying what we’re too scared to ‘cos of racial vilification laws, but we all think it.’ I would like to keep our place like it is and I guess [joining the] Liberals would be natural,” she told the Herald.

I wonder if the same conversation happens amongst groups of would-be thieves?

“Oh man Steve-o you fuckin’ rock! Robbing that fuckin’ bank man! We’re all too scared by the fuckin’ pigs, but goodonyamaaaaaaate…“

[sirens can be heard in the distance, edging closer and closer...]

Proof that the weirdest things do happen in Japan

So. You’re home alone, but something strange has been happening. Food that you swear you saw in the fridge keeps disappearing. So what do you do? Well, a 57 year old man in Fukuoka had this problem, and he installed a security camera to monitor his home while he was out. And he was rather surprised, to say the least, to discover than a homeless woman had been living in his closet.

“She told police that she had nowhere to live,” the spokesman said. “She seems to have lived there for about a year, but not all the time.”

A year! And she stole nothing but food! If that’s not the mark of an honest person, I don’t know what is. If I could afford it, I would seriously consider just letting her stay; I think she’s earnt squatter’s rights on that closet!

So, “Top chefs say no to GM food” eh?

Well it’s all very well to bitch about GM crops when you’re that fucking rich, isn’t it? Sure, if you charging 50 bucks a plate then you can afford to buy the best and freshest organic produce, but spare a thought for those in the world for whom 50 bucks is a year’s wage; or hell, all those single income families in Australia which make less than $20,000 a year. I bet they’re not looking at much more than the price tag.

This kind of mindless knee-jerk protest crap really drives me insane. How can a bunch of people who should be experts on food not see through the whole GM scare-mongering led by those not-quite-all-about-the-environment Greenpeace hippie freaks? We have, for centuries, been genetically engineering food, even before we knew about this “genome” business. By selectively breeding certain traits we have been creating, and destroying, different lines of animals and plants for human consumption. As more and more mouths need to be fed, people have been figuring out ways to increase yields to feed those people — up until some braindead automatrons decided not to bother researching anything and start spreading crap about putting monkey genes in apples blah blah blah. So now when Australia goes into drought, it has a tangible effect around the world… which may not have happened if we had invested in creating new strands of rice that is more disease resistant and has a higher yield. So, repeat after me: ORGANIC FARMING KILLS. Not those who eat it, but those who can’t afford it.

So please, Neil Perry et al, unless you can think of a way to feed 5 billion mouths and counting without new growing technologies, sit down and shut the hell up.

It just breaks your heart

From today’s Herald

Li was happily eating and taking everything everyone gave her. She prattled away: “A rock this big” – stretching her arms – “smashed Grandma in the eyes and nose. There was lots of blood. I called Grandma but she didn’t say anything.”

Where was Grandma now?

“She’s dead. What does dead mean?”

After a bumbled adult explanation, Li asked if Grandma would come back to make her some food. The first thing she wanted was some meat, then an apple and a banana.

Road rage retard takes out 50 cyclists

From the Herald:

Witnesses to the crash have told smh.com.au the group of about up to 60 professional cyclists were riding south on Southern Cross Drive, just south of Dacey Avenue, Mascot about 6.30am when a driver, agitated with being held up, accelerated in front of the pack and then slammed on his brakes, giving the riders no time to stop.

Who does that shit? Seriously? The worst thing is that this idiot would probably only be charged with reckless driving, when he deserves at least an attempted murder, and he’ll probably be back on the road with a full license in a few years. If I had my way the only thing he’ll be driving for the rest of eternity is a meal tray at Long Bay Gaol.

The obvious solution is…

I recently read a story about the “growing dangers” of hybrid cars, namely that hybrids are are too difficult to hear for blind pedestrians, and pedestrians who can be distracted by, I shit you not, cell phones, music devices, and kids. So what are the US lawmakers’ solution? A two year study, and possibly require Auto makers to make hybrid cars louder. Yep, those big brains over in America thinks the best way to deal with quiet hybrids is to make them louder. Wow, what qualifications are required to be a US politician? Common sense isn’t one of them.

Here’s what the NSW Police is doing. Scroll down to the bottom — some of the best public service ads I’ve seen.

You don’t get TV like this any more